Snark Watch

Snark Watch: September 1, 2020

While Watching | What Happened | Thoughts 

While Watching

What Happened

  • Neil actually DIED. Like for realsies. It’s so weird.
  • We have a new MacGuffin that we’re going to hearing about every five minutes until we stab ourselves. The new “blanket from the nursery” is Nina’s necklace which you can buy at Claire’s for $10. Jax has a jeweler who is tracing it to an artisan. Bitch, that was mass-produced in China like all of Claire’s jewelry.
  • Sam and Jason were so excited to be back together as a family that they both each abandoned their kids with someone (Monica?) to separate places. Sam, for some reason, was at her mother’s house even though that made no sense, and Jason went to hold Michael’s hand because Michael has no friends his own age.
  • Ned decided five minutes after Brook woke up to get mad because she won’t forgive him for being an asshole. And then got mad at Olivia who’s off to see Dante — the son she hasn’t seen for over a year. He was a real winner today.
  • The show is setting us up for Mike’s death by reminding us that Sonny REALLY loves his father. And so do Carly and Jason. Despite the fact that Ron Hale literally had five scenes with these fools between 2003-2010.
  • Willow and Michael are really boring.
  • Carly is being haunted by Nelle and not telling Sonny about the cliff, which both Jax and I support.
  • If I missed anything, it’s because it was boring and I passed out.


Well, Neil died. I mean, died in a way that’s unusual on this show. I don’t know what’s going on there. That didn’t get spoiled for me or anyone else I know. I don’t know if it’s because no one cares or if the show held it close to their chest. Both could also be true.

They’re really shoving Michael and Willow down our throats, which makes me mad because I love a marriage of convenience story and this is a bust from to top to bottom. I’m glad I’m not a fan of Jason and Sam as a couple because I’d be REALLY pissed if my couple were held apart by circumstances for the better part of three years, and they don’t get more than one scene at home before getting up at dawn to abandon their kids with someone to be with other people.

I do not, in the slightest, care about Nina’s kid or this necklace. Is it Willow? Is it Nelle? Are they twins? Like — no. I don’t give a shit. I tried, but I can’t do it.

Ned being a pushy Quartermaine who demands Brook pay attention to him and that Olivia think only of him — that was an unwelcome return to the version of Ned I’ve never liked. But at least it’s something and people are mad at each other, so I’ll take it.

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