We’re halfway through the year, and also roughly three months into the new head writing regime, and I had a lot of thoughts that didn’t quite fit into tweets. Mostly because people only read one tweet in a thread, and I think it’s kind of important to collect these thoughts into a larger picture because a few things are allowed to be true at once.
- General Hospital is qualitatively better than when Patrick Mulcahey & Elizabeth Korte took over.
- General Hospital is still kind of terrible, and I still don’t like a lot of the stories or characters.
- I’m enjoying watching live and intend to keep doing so.
You would think that Number 2 on that list would somehow outweigh 1 & 3, and it’s true that some days, it absolutely does. Not all episodes are good, not all stories have been thought out well. You can see where some of the storylines feel planned, and there are others that feel like well, we’re throwing spaghetti at the wall, and hoping something sticks. It makes for a serious mixed bag, but the good has earned back a little of my trust, and my hope that we move more firmly into Elizabeth Korte’s solo tenure, I get more of 1 & 3 and 2 feels like a fever dream.
Let’s break this down into The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly, but I’m going to reverse that so we can start with what needs to be handled ASAP.
The Ugly
The Optical Illusion of the Robinson-Ashford Family
Initially, there was some hope early on that we were going to get some decent material for the show’s sole Black family. Marshall’s medical storyline was wrapped very quickly, but it was wrapped up with some really smart writing about the racism experienced by Black people in this country (and in the world). It was good to see, but it wasn’t nearly enough. I became interested in the story pretty much for the first time, and then it was gone. It took me a long time to get warmed up to Marshall, and my entire affection for him was due to Robert Gossett, Jr. whom I watched for years on The Closer and Major Crimes. The same goes for Stella who has always had uneven writing, but Vernae Watson sells everything just from the sheer force of charisma. Now, Marshall has disappeared (the actor taken off contract) and Stella’s a talk-to again. Stella’s got a really interesting job at the hospital that could fuel storylines, but I can’t even remember the last time we saw her.
Portia and Curtis got some wonderful material when they wrapped up his paralysis storyline, and the chemistry of their characters finally started to shine again. We got to see their bedroom for what had to be the first time, right? Now, Curtis mostly exists to support Drew and Portia shows up at the hospital when needed. I wish I could make their paragraph longer, but, uh, I can’t. There’s nothing to write about.
Trina got some fantastic scenes with Stella about her grief with Spencer, and then a beautiful scene at his graveyard. It’s no secret that Tabyana Ali went from being one of the leads in that YA scene under the old writers, and that her screen time has seriously diminished, both in quantity and quality. There could be a thousand reasons for it — my personal theory is that Nicholas Chavez was never supposed to be gone that long, and they simply didn’t plan to do much with Trina in his absence. When filming took longer, and then he ultimately was released from his contract, the writers didn’t have a good plan for what to do with Trina and still struggle now. That’s a problem. Not just because Trina is one of the most popular characters on the show, but because it suggests the writers still only write for the men and see the women as appendages. Add in the fact that Taby has recently gotten a lot of mainstream press for speaking eloquently against the recent racist attacks on social media, anyone tuning in would find that Trina mostly appears now as Friend #1 in Joss scenes. The YA scene is terrible, and it’s going to keep GH from rebounding in the ratings or attracting new viewers.
TJ is probably the only Black character on this show getting anything to do — but he’s only used to fuel conflict between Molly and Kristina. I will say that he’s had more to do recently, and the new Molly has good chemistry with him, but I gotta say — the surrogacy story isn’t doing him any favors. TJ is the longest-running current Black character on the show (contract-wise). They built an entire family around him and I don’t feel like I know anything about him.
I’d talk about Jordan, but she hasn’t been on this year except for some really uncomfortable flirtatious scenes with Brick, some chemistry testing with Drew, and some scenes where she’s the straight man to mayor Laura Collins’ goofy ass plan to help Heather Webber. Jordan has been recast twice, and maybe they struggle with the fact that neither of the last two actresses look nearly old enough to be TJ’s mother or have the maternal energy to pull off that relationship. I’m trying to picture Jordan in the hospital room, holding her grandchild and, uh, it’s not working for me. This isn’t surprising because Tanisha Harper and Tahj Bellows are 9 years apart and look roughly the same age most of the time. I don’t know how you fix that problem without a recast, to be honest, and that sucks because I love both these actors.
Taggert’s still drinking at Kelly’s, and has been since last July, so when we say MIA, I mean it. I don’t think Trina’s even mentioned her father. This really sucks because I’ve always loved Taggert, and the idea of him back at the PCPD with Jason back from the dead? COME ON. Can’t I have a reunion? Imagine Taggert working with Anna and Jason? How much fun would that history be? Anna being more trusting and cooperative with Jason, and Taggert being all, Anger Boy, you’re still a dumb ass–just give me what I want.
Heather Webber’s Hips of Madness Has To Go
I am so tired of being stuck with terrible characters because someone behind the scenes likes the damned actor. It’s why we were afflicted with Roger Howarth and Michael Easton for a goddamn decade. And let me tell you–the fact that the two MALE actors were allowed to get character after character, but the ONE female transplant, Kristin Alderson, left over financial reasons in 2015? GH is never going to beat the backstage misogyny allegations.
Heather Webber was a vixen in the late 1970s and 1980s. I recently rewatched a lot of the Susan Moore murder storyline on YouTube as research, and Robin Mattson’s Heather was delightfully fun, twisty, and selfish. I can see why she was popular at the time. But she left the show in the early 1980s, and no one missed her. She lifted right out. Her returns in 2004-05 and 2012-14 were not good. Robin Mattson was never the problem, but Ron Carlivati pushed that character into the insane psychopath territory, and that’s just where characters go to die. Then GH gave her two retconned kids, Franco and Esme, and both of them were deeply problematic characters for reasons we can’t get into here.
They recast Heather with Alley Mills when they decided to make Esme her daughter. (My God, the dumbest shit we’ve ever seen). And now because Alley won an Emmy and Frank likes her, we gave her a poisoned hip, and Laura’s running around trying to free her (or not? I don’t know, every time Laura talks about it, my mind glazes over because it makes no sense). Giving Laura another “redeem a misunderstood and damaged criminal” story back to back after Esme’s insulting amnesia? You’ve got to be shitting me.
The only saving grace is that the majority of the people Laura talks to are looking at her like she’s insane. Trina got to react negatively (not enough for my liking, but it’s something), Jordan was like, uh optics, mayor? But it’s just a weird story that doesn’t hold together well. We’re not talking fully about the implications of Heather’s crimes and who she hurt. Sasha isn’t getting to react, and Heather murdered Brando. Esme died killing Spencer, and Heather’s grief has been more explicit than literally anyone else, including Alexis and Sonny. It’s not okay.
Redemption stories are touchy for me because they’re rarely done well. Not all crimes can be redeemed. Not all people can be redeemed. A lot of the times, characters and those who write them act as if redemption is a destination–something you reach and then never have to think about again. Redemption is something that gets earned and that you have to continually work hard to keep. After the absolute disaster of Franco’s Magical DVD Redemption Tour, GH needs to stay far away from redeeming ANYONE.
Especially Heather Webber. Let her die, and let Alley Mills go find work somewhere else.
The Bad
The Generational Gap of God Damn, They’re Boring
The best soaps have tiers of stories to appeal to all audience. I started watching GH in the 90s, and I really loved that you had the older characters like Alan, Monica, Bobbie, Tony, Mac, Katherine, Lucy, and Felicia having their own adventures, while the next group with Sonny, Brenda, Jason, Carly, Robin, and Jax were doing their own thing, and then you had your teen/YA scene of Nikolas, Emily, Elizabeth, Sarah, and Lucky. There was interaction and mixing of stories from time to time (I loved how many characters were at Mac and Felicia’s 1998 wedding and the 1997 Sonny and Brenda wedding that wasn’t)
GH doesn’t have that right now. The only story that’s remotely working is the Jason story, and he’s firmly in that older group. Every character under the age of 40 is terrible on this show. They’re boring, bland, very rarely doing anything interesting, and they make me want to set myself on fire.
Michael has been boring the brain cells for probably the last five or six years. The last time I was remotely interested in him was the pairing with Nelle, and he was mostly written as a gullible idiot. The last two pairings of Sasha and Willow make me want to stab things. That being said, there’s still time to redeem this man. He’s a Q son of Carly. The dude should be fucking things up and fucking women right and left. Like why we turned him into a boring family man, I don’t know. He needs to throw Sasha across the kitchen counter and let Willow catch them or something. I don’t know. I don’t. I just know putting Michael and Willow in scenes together makes me want to take a nap, and that can’t be good.
Brook Lyn and Chase have been mildly better since the wedding. I really liked the united way they handled the Finn alcoholism, and I saw a lot of the chemistry that existed when they first got together. Chase has also had the best material since his dad’s death and his brother’s dive into the bottle — I’m sort of engaged in them, but I’m also really doubtful where they can go from here.
Sasha and Cody aren’t interesting enough for a paragraph. Reveal the paternity, and then let Cody and Willow catch Michael and Sasha together. Or let them think they’ve caught them together, then go have revenge sex.
I just need more drama! And they’re not delivering.
I think Kristina, Molly, TJ, and Blaze are supposed to be in this generation, but I’m also bored senseless by the surrogacy story, and the singer we didn’t ask for, and her homophobic mother. I’ve decided to crackship Molly and Dex. We’re calling them Dolly.
I don’t know what to say about the YA group. It’s basically Joss, Dex, Trina, and Gio. God help us all. I don’t know why Joss and Dex are broken up still. I think they tried to explain it this week, but it doesn’t change the fact it’s stupid. Evan Hofer is a much better actor than the material he’s given, and he needs a pairing with someone who isn’t a narcisstic sociopath. I vote for Molly. See above.
Joss is a garbage fire. I’m sorry. Eden McCoy is probably a nice person. The acting is fine. The character is hot garbage. She needs to go away for six months and come back with a personality that’s more than smug, less interesting version of her mother.
Gio plays the violin. And that’s it.
I’d talk about the teen scene, but it’s basically Hudson West and a couple of boys with terrible TikTok hair who can’t deliver a line if their life was at stake. So, yeah. Where’s Charlotte when you need someone interesting?
The Good
DING DONG THE FIZ IS DEAD AND THE ALBATROSS WAS SHOT DOWN
Michael Easton FINALLY left. Siri, play “Celebration” by Kool and the Gang.
They broke up Finn and Elizabeth, and Fin was the villain at every stage. He was an asshole to Elizabeth sober and drunk, just proving the red flag we talked about for THREE YEARS is went down with the ship. He was an asshole to Portia and Terri when they tried to help him–just an awful, garbage fire of a person, and a mediocre actor on his best day. Glory be to God, the OLTL experiment is finally over. Elizabeth’s hostage crisis has ended.
I Like The Jason Story FIGHT ME
Far away, the best story on the show right now is the Jason storyline. Listen very carefully when I say this: The “best” story among the garbage fire of all the rest does not mean this is a perfect story. It’s not. There are problems with it, mostly with pacing and momentum. I think there are ways we could strengthen it, and draw in more history and cast. No story is ever perfect, and I’ve rewritten my own material enough to know.
That being said — Jason’s return shows the most promise because they’ve set up some dominos, and they’re starting to fall. We had a Jason/Anna scene in April where Jason told Anna that he’d done this to protect Carly, and we were cutting back and forth between Jason saying Carly could know never because she’d do something to make it worse and Carly already making it worse by visiting Brennan. We spent May slowing integrating Jason back into the canvas. He had scenes with Danny and Sam. He talked to Elizabeth about Jake (who made it clear he didn’t want to see his father right now), and then in June we started to push forward with the rest of the story. Now more people know why Jason did it — Sam and Spinelli. Sam took the info to Carly, who confronted Jason. Now Jason has the added pressure of knowing that three people who have problems with impulse control know this information. Meanwhile, Anna is trying to investigate Valentin, though I’m divided on how useful she really is. And we already know Carly’s screwed things up because Brennan’s told Valentin that Jason’s their “Jacob Alan” plant and the FBI is involved.
In the middle of all that, we also got some really good Jason and Elizabeth scenes — the first scenes where Jason has been able to relax. To show off his own personality again, to just be with someone who isn’t demanding answers. Maybe you can argue Elizabeth should be — but she’s known him too long. Demanding things from Jason doesn’t work. He doesn’t open up easily — and he’s not going to do it the first time they reconnect. But Jason’s also checking in with her, which is good. Jason’s starting to live his life again —
And this is about the time when things should go bad, so I’m interested in seeing where July takes us.
General Hospital is better now than it was a year ago. The writing, scene to scene, is better. The scene length and episodic structure is insanely better. I can actually follow an entire episode without feeling whiplash.
General Hospital is also still pretty bad. You don’t dig out from the horror show that we’ve had in three months. But I’ve seen enough change that I’m watching again daily. I’m interested in seeing what happens when Korte has sole control — something she hasn’t ever had in her entire time. She’s never had final say over the writing (and she really doesn’t — Frank’s still there, but she’s closer now than she’s ever been). She’s written some of my favorite Elizabeth material over the years. I’m excited to see what her GH looks like, now that we finally have a Head Writer that’s ours, and not another transplant from a cancelled soap.